Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Although I would like to have had that man-to-man conversation with the father of my girlfriend before embarking on this big step of our lives, it was impossible.

Now I want to ask you: Is asking the father of your girlfriend for her hand in marriage an old tradition or is it still valued by Millennials today? I am not sure of your answer, but I am looking forward to your responses. In fact, I believe that your comments will depend on how you have been raised and the importance that your own parents have placed in this conventional yet beautiful tradition.

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If you decide to not ask her father for her hand in marriage it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong. In my case, I decided that out of courtesy and respect I wanted to keep her family and mine involved in my decision. Family will always want the best for you and once you share such a big step in your life with them, their blessing will mean the world to you. In addition, taking this fearful step (for some) of including her parents in the process will set the tone for the relationship you will have with your in-laws for the rest of your lives.

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If you think about it, you are going to ask a girl to become your wife, to start a brand new journey together and to become a part of each other’s families forever. Asking for her father’s permission might be a no brainer.

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Unfortunately, I didn’t have the choice of asking my girlfriend’s father for her hand in marriage. You see, the father of this beautiful and smart woman that is now my fiancée passed away almost 10 years ago. What was I to do then? I did the next best thing. I had a beautiful conversation with her mother! I am pretty sure I scored lots of points there! She expressed her full support and wished us the best in this new chapter.

My fiancée has a big portrait of her father and her at her house. I once had a moment of silence next to that photograph and asked her dad for his blessing from up above. I believe he approves and would be happy for how extremely joyful our lives have become since we met each other.

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My parents knew all along that I was planning this big step in my life. They even knew when I would propose! I am very close to my parents and I’ve always included them in any of my big decisions. A marriage proposal was no exception. Having their approval meant the world to me. Above all I think it’s a cultural tradition to want to include your own parents if you still have them around.

While I will not be going into detail of how stressful the “picking a ring” process was, I can tell you that it was hectic. There is a lot of planning involved, especially as it relates to the cost. You will end up spending at least up to three months of your salary on this asset. It is a big investment, and I recommend you do your research.

 

So now that I have done the asking, and the ring is on my fiancée’s finger, I ask you guys, how will you propose? Will you still follow tradition and ask the father first? Please share. Ladies, do you have an opinion? Comparte por favor, share!

In the meantime, our wedding will be in the summer of 2017 so the planning for the BIG day has begun!

Saludos Mileniales,

Gustavo

P.s. Don’t forget to visit Mari’s site and follow her on all her social media.

Creo que todos en algún momento hemos sido victimas de entrar en la rutina y lo monótono que puede ser una relación amorosa. No es que sea difícil ser espontaneo o hacer cosas diferentes pero simplemente la rutina del trabajo y cosas por hacer en casa nos dejan rendidos o a veces con muy poco tiempo y energía para ser creativos para realizar nuevas experiencias.

Credito: Video Cine Distribucion

Credito: Video Cine Distribucion

Pero caer en la misma rutina a veces nos puede costar hasta el hermoso matrimonio que se ha construido y muchas veces es lo causante a que existan tantos divorcios, en mi humilde opinión, porque se va perdiendo la gran chispa del amor.

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Con un atractivo toque de humor y una película que es para toda la familia, Busco Novio para mi Mujer (2016) aborda esta situación y como puede llegar hasta sus últimas consecuencias. ¡No te la pierdas en solo 2 días, el 19 de febrero!

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El pasado sábado tuve la oportunidad de ver esta película en un screening adelantado donde los protagonistas Dana (Sandra Echeverría) y Paco (Arath de la Torre) se desempeñan muy bien y sacaron la historia al 100.

Credito: Video Cine Distribucion

Credito: Video Cine Distribucion

Gracias a Latinas Bloggers Connect (LBC) pude disfrutar de mi sábado y reír como nunca antes. Al final de la película Sandra Echeverría nos deleitó con su presencia y nos habló detalles de la película y cosas que pasaron “behind the scenes” que no había contado. (Risas)

Disfrute mucho de la charla de Sandra y creo que muchos de los otros bloggers que participaron estan de acuerdo conmigo.

En Busco Novio para mi Mujer, Sandra Echeverría incursiona como productora cinematográfica después de haber participado en algunos doblajes (El Libro de la Vida (2014) y El Profeta (2016)) y haber compartido el set con Salma Hayek en la película Salvajes (2012) de Oliver Stone. Por su parte, Arath de la Torre vuelve como protagonista a la pantalla grande después de 15 años (Inspiración, 2001), compartiendo créditos con Mónica Huarte (Cansada de Besar Sapos, 2006), Mauricio Isaac (XY, 2009, 2012) y Yago Muñoz (Miss XV, 2012).

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De la mano de Pantelion Films, la casa productora detrás de la película mexicana más taquillera de la historia, No se Aceptan Devoluciones (2013), de Eugenio Derbez, llega Busco Novio para mi Mujer. Bajo la dirección de Enrique Begné, Sandra Echeverría y Arath de la Torre protagonizan esta adaptación de la cinta argentina Un Novio para mi Mujer (2008), de Juan Taratuto, la cual tuvo tanto éxito que inspiró otros dos refritos en Italia y Corea del Sur.

El poder de la voz latina es inmensa entonces todos vamos a verla el 19 de febrero en una sala de cine cerca de tu casa. Si te gustaría ver más películas en español en las salas de teatro aquí en Estados Unidos te recomiendo apoyar esta cinta cual saldrá en más de 350 cines para que tengamos acceso a más películas en español.

Ya sea que vayas solo o acompañado, esta cinta te hará pasar un muy buen rato y, en una de esas, te hará pensar dos veces antes de dejar ir lo que has ganado con tanto esfuerzo y dedicacion.

Que te diviertas.

So you called it quits with who you believed was your happily ever after, but turns out it wasn’t. I am happy for you because your GOOD life has just commenced. That ex-significant other maybe did not make it to 2016 by your side and you left them stuck in 2015, but you’ve been having a difficult time coping.

STRESS no more because I’ve been in your shoes and I want to share some tips that got me out of the hole.

First off: CONGRATULATIONS! Yes, I type that in capital letters because I am very proud of you for taking that step as a matter of fact I would give you a trophy for making that move because so many people stick it through thinking things will get better.

But, if you read my last LOVE post you may have realized that before things get better in a toxic relationship they will only get worse. That post received so much attention and positive feedback that this is the 2nd part to that because I had people asking, but what do you after you end a relationship?

To everyone that was asking for this, sorry that it took me this long to do a follow-up post. Yeah life got in the way and I apologize.

Alright in all seriousness whether the relationship was long or short term, the end of a relationship can be heart breaking for one or both parties. Someone who was once close to you is in the past, and that at times can feel like a death. While at the beginning it may feel like you’ll never get over it, but I can assure you that you will with time, patience and a lot of re-focusing of your energy.

So that person is no longer by your side. Guess what? Life just got 10 times better. Lol

On a large scale if when you put the negative items next to the positive ones and they outweighed each other by a lot then have peace of mind that you did the right thing. I did that in the past and holy cow did the negatives really scare me.

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My following tips will not make you feel spectacular in 5 minutes, but they’ll make it easier for you to let go and cope:

1.You were an individual before meeting that person so therefore you will slowly, carefully and with a lot of time go back to your old ways. It won’t be easy, but apply the old saying here: “one day a time”. It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a relationship, where you can become a “we” instead of a “me” or “I”. This is a perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. Right now it’s all about you!

2.Find your interests and passions, and go in full force on them. Thanks to your ex some of your hobbies may have fallen to the wayside for example hiking, swimming, cooking, playing a sport or fishing. Use this time to rediscover your passion and become in tune with the person you once were.

3.Focus your energy on things and responsibilities that will make you grow as a person. Take on responsibilities that you never imagined doing while you were with your ex. Believe it or not sometimes the person you are with ties you down or constraints you if you are not compatible. So for example focus your energy on some big responsibilities such as buying a home or a new car, investing, volunteering at a non-profit periodically and even becoming a board member.

4.Surround yourself around people always! I cannot stress this enough because after a relationship we are very heartbroken, yes us men too, remember that we’re human also and a lot of depressive thoughts can roam our head. One sad thought leads to another and before you know you just feel like giving up on life. Please don’t because life gets better- I promise. Surrounding yourself with loving people is one of the best things you can do during a breakup. They will restore your self-esteem and remind you how to have fun.

5.Get closer to your beliefs and become more spiritual. I’m not saying go to church every Sunday, but invest time in your faith and in whatever fills your spirits. If you are not religious this is fine, I am sure there’s something out there where you place all your faith in. There you will always find an answer to your questions. 

6.And if you still haven’t cut all ties with that person – DO IT. I mean all. Don’t talk to their family, close friends and most importantly him or her. Go the whole nine yards in putting them in your past. Delete photos of each other on social media, files on computer, hard copy pictures and gifts they gave you. Most importantly delete them from your social media. When you do this it’s not an act of immaturity it simply means you are in a stage of cleanse and indifference. Also delete the letters, the text messages and anything that will remind you of that person. I’m a strong believer that when it’s over- there’s no turning back to an old and misused chapter.

7.Take a vacation somewhere or plan a getaway that you’ll enjoy. This would be perfect to do with friends so that you can re-connect and have fun together. Being single again means you can have quality time with your friends. Don’t spend that time bad-mouthing your ex, or even talking about them.

8.Plan time to be alone in a safe environment where you can ask yourself deep and thought provoking questions about your life and where you want to take it next. Bottling your emotions up simply isn’t healthy. I know it isn’t fun, but you need to have your mourning period.

9.Eat well, exercise and be active. All three things will give you a new kind of energy needed to get you through those rough days when you start thinking about the past.

10.Lastly and most importantly don’t blame anyone for the failed relationship. Yes, we live in a world where we have the urge to blame others to feel better about ourselves or others, but that doesn’t help. Forgive yourself and forgive others.

Be thankful and I know it may seem impossible after what you have gone through, but aside from it all there’s so much in your life to be appreciative for and in the middle of all this gloom you’ll feel better if you come from a grateful place.

Life goes on and always recognize your self-worth. This failed relationship shouldn’t define you and now the possibilities for a better and promising life are endless.

P.s. Don’t forget to give yourself ample time to love again. No need to rush.

The holidays are here and luckily for some of us that means spending more time with our immediate family because we may live many miles away from each other. ¡Muy lejos! I can’t ever picture myself nagging about visiting the two human beings that brought me into this world, but sadly some people will.

This past Thanksgiving Day I traveled by train from Los Angeles to Northern California to spend time with my parents. On the same cabin there was a woman in her mid-30’s sitting close to me and she was complaining during the entire 3-hour ride to the man sitting next to her of how much she hated traveling back home.

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In my humble opinion, the things she said were absurd and I couldn’t imagine a person complaining so much as she did about visiting their parents. ¡Muchas quejas! Throughout the conversation she referenced how boring her family was, how they didn’t do anything for Thanksgiving other than eat and watch movies. I remember thinking, “Isn’t that what you are supposed to do, just hang with the family?”

She continued saying that she was only going home for 12 hours because she could not bear to be around her family any longer and she mentioned that the last time she had seen them was over two years ago. She wouldn’t even spend the night at her parents because of how traditional and old-fashioned they were so she was staying at a hotel. ¡Imáginense! She mentioned how she had a curfew when she was with them. I thought to myself, “Was it really that hard for her to adapt for some hours?”

As she continued in her litany, I was thinking how I would never think of not staying at my parents’ home as I would want to maximize my time and spend every minute possible next to them to make-up for lost time. Plus, in the majority of Latinos families the more people in a household for the holidays the merrier. Don’t you agree?

I honestly felt like speaking up and telling her how my family means everything to me, but I didn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Life is unpredictable and I only hope this woman realizes that no one’s parents are eternal. From her conversation it sounded like she had a very positive upbringing so I couldn’t understand why she had so much hate towards her parents. No judgment, here. ¡No la juzgo! But, hearing her only made me want to arrive that much quicker to see my parents and my family for Thanksgiving to hug them, catch up, have dinner together and simply be present under the same roof.

At home we laughed, played games and most importantly we all feel that sense of belonging and nurturing that only parents can give their children. Also we relaxed, don’t do much, and just enjoy the moment. ¡Disfrutamos juntos!

I like to debunk the assumption about millennials not giving much importance to family values because I actually feel we do and from my train experience I can venture to say that others generations might choose not to.

For me the holidays are a perfect time to strengthen my connection with my family.

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I hope this holiday season you are able to visit your family, be present and not complain about the beautiful family traditions or how old-fashioned your parents are. Yes, times have changed and parents sometimes still hold a very conservative mindset, but I think we can easily adapt and go with the flow one time a year!

Saludos Mileniales,

Gustavo

I was invited by Author Maritere Rodriguez Bellas to contribute to her recently launched site on parenting and education where I’ll be publishing some of my content in the college age / millennials section. I invite all of you to check out her site and I will also cross promote my posts here for all of you.

Here’s my first of many posts on there and I hope you all enjoy the read!

Nowadays with different types of technologies and with social media taking the lead in the way we communicate with others I still prefer talking to my parents over the phone at least once a day. Believe it or not I love hearing their voices because it shortens the distance and the time we go without seeing each other. I guess I am corny! Lol

Yes, I am part of the millennial generation that has often been categorized as being narcissists, needy, self-centered and entitled, but I have always strived to not let those negative stereotypes define my character. I have also heard from different people that we have become the generation that doesn’t look back, moves-on in life and forgets about our intermediate family. They are very wrong and I know that doesn’t apply to me!

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I don’t see anything wrong with moving-on in life and seeking a better future for myself. As a matter of fact my parents always motivated me into doing bigger and better things than they were ever able to accomplish. But one thing I know for sure is that I have never forgotten them or left them behind like some people have told me they have done with their own parents. As a matter of fact I am very connected to my parents.

As an adult I don’t run everything by my parents anymore, but I do like to share with them my lifestyle, whereabouts, goals and struggles. I love hearing their “consejos” (tips) on how to manage around a variety of different situations. They always have the best advice. Wouldn’t you say?

I grew up in a small 1-bedroom apartment where we made 7 people fit – 2 adults and 5 children so staying connected and always in close communication was the norm. As I grew older my parents always made sure that they knew what my siblings and I were up to and kept us aligned to our goals.

At 17 years old I moved out of my parent’s home and never returned to live there, but I always visit them. I live six hours away by car, and there’s not one day that I go without talking to them over the phone. I feel guilt and shame when I do not call them. It’s an oddly interesting feeling and very much a cultural one.

When there are so many other avenues of communication and technologies why do I choose to talk to my parents daily the old-fashioned way via a phone call? The answer is simple. I think my parents deserve some quality time and undivided attention so that we can catch-up and let each other know how we’re doing.

Yes, I see many of my friends send a short and, sometimes cold text message to their folks, email or even use social media to reach out to their parents once in a while or when they need their parents for something.  But, I can’t relate to that way of communicating with my parents.

I understand we live very busy lives, but honestly we can’t drop everything we’re doing and make a simple and short phone call to the two individuals that brought us into this world?  Sorry, I don’t mean to sound judgmental, I am just stating a fact.

Humbly, I know of people who don’t communicate with their parents and have forgotten about them completely. Some of those people are not part of the millennial generation and often times are not Latino. Though I respect everyone’s decision of how often they communicate with their parents, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I went days without hearing from them. Plus even over the phone I would get scolded for not calling them. Yes, still at a distance and as an adult my parents try to discipline me. I wonder if it’s a Latino thing. Lol

I strongly believe that out of respect and because I honor them both so much there is daily communication. Typically, my conversation with my mother is in Spanish and with my father I tend to speak English because I love hearing his thick accent and he enjoys practicing his second-language skills.

I enjoy my Spanish conversation with my mother because I get to polish up on my Spanish and have fluidity in all my phrases and words. Plus, there are some words that don’t translate well into English and speaking Spanish makes me feel as I am right next to her. Listening to Spanish from my mom is warm and comforting. On the other hand, I enjoy talking English with my father because I get to teach him new words that are not part of his vocabulary and he gets to sharpen his second-language skills.

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My parents taught me many lessons in life and without a doubt one of the most important ones was staying united and always looking out for the “familia” because at the end of the day they are all you have in this journey. I can’t picture myself not knowing about them for a day and I am thankful I still have them around for some great talks and laughs.

I don’t think we’ll ever simply communicate via a Facebook or text message. I just wouldn’t feel appropriate.

As a Latino millennial, I understand that there’s a lot of different family dynamics and situations that exist in one’s family that can result in a lack of communication, and even an estranged relationship, but for me since I have my parents alive and healthy I cannot grasp the idea of not talking to them daily.

How often do you talk or spend time with your parents?

Saludos mileniales,

Gustavo

P.s. Don’t forget to visit Mari’s site and follow her on all her social media.

Are you looking for a short and extremely relaxing getaway close to home in Southern California then I have the best recommendation for you!

I was pleasantly surprised with this trip by my gf to The Ranch at Bandy Canyon as my 27th birthday gift. I think it was an exceptional gift because it wasn’t like she went to the store — bought me something, wrapped it and that was it. It was a great feeling to see all the thought and detail she put into surprising me with a perfect getaway/road trip to this gem that sits in the San Pascual Valley (Escondido area) in Southern California. She knows how much I love nature, hiking, cabin-life, getaways and horses so she saw all things included in this secluded rustic location and got us there.

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We arrived on a sunny Sunday afternoon after many guests had departed from a wedding reception the previous day. The venue is popular for wedding celebrations and a beautiful one too. This is one we may consider for ours!

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Also, summer camps, picnics and children’s birthday celebrations take place at the site with an array of fun activities that will keep your child and their friends entertained.

Even before you enter the ranch and you drive on a windy uphill road you begin to notice how peaceful and disconnected from society you can get to be. It’s a great feeling and one that everyone needs to live every once in a while. As you approach the ranch there’s no reception and Wi-Fi at the grounds is weak, but I am telling you now so that you are prepared. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with disconnecting from society and social media every once in a while. Get ready for re-charging those internal batteries in your system.

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Giant eucalyptus trees line-up the road as you drive into The Ranch at Bandy Canyon and as soon as we checked-in the gal that greeted us was super welcoming and accommodating to our needs. She guided us to our nicely furnished cabin and handed us a basket of food (muffins and fruit) and wine for our stay.

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We settled into our cabin and then ventured out to the grounds and explored on our own in a 20-30 minute walk. The ranch is fairly small so you can walk through it in 10 minutes, but with capturing different corners of this beautiful place we took longer. There’s a stream that runs through the ranch, a pool and jacuzzi, a lodge which is the oldest building in Escondido. There is a piano, a fireplace and lots of room to enjoy people’s company. I overheard that they will be transforming the lodge into a restaurant which I think will be great because currently there’s no restaurant in the grounds. Recently I saw they opened a much needed General Store that offers coffee bar, snacks, drinks and souvenirs.

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There’s a patio area we loved as well that is great for an outdoor reception with a fountain in the middle of the courtyard and with a fireplace where we enjoyed s’mores in the middle of the night.

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My favorite area of the ranch were the stables with the horses for sure. We walked there and hung out with my favorite animals. I love horses! We didn’t have the chance to ride them, but it was still great to see them.

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We went back to our cabin and got ready for dinner that day. We went to a nearby restaurant called Cordiano Winery outside the ranch that overlooked some vineyards and mountains. We had some delicious pizza cooked in the oven and wine.

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We watched the sunset and that was an unforgettable experience.

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We made it back to our cabin and took a dip in the pool late at night. We had the entire pool and jacuzzi to ourselves so that was very relaxing.

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We heard nature at its finest accompanied by a full moon and the stars shined bright that night. This was an experience we don’t usually get to live with all the hustle and bustle in Los Angeles and The Ranch at Bandy Canyon supported this exuberant view. Thank you!

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We woke up the next day and ate some of the goodies that were given to us in the basket, we sat in the patio overlooking the ranch, heard birds chirping and drank coffee.

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We took another morning stroll around the grounds. This time we got on the swing and the hammocks to relax some more. When was the last time you got on a hammock?

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As you can see you’ll do a lot of nature walks and disconnecting while visiting this place and don’t expect to do something major, but that’s the beauty of this place that you simply get to relax because nowadays that’s a luxury.

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We checked-out of the ranch and we drove to two California missions on our way back to Los Angeles. We also made pit stops at the Oceanside and San Clemente piers.

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Our fun getaway came to an end too soon, but it was the perfect one to spend quality time and celebrate another successful year.

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If you are looking for a fun place to escape with your significant other that will be inexpensive and worthwhile take a look at The Ranch at Bandy Canyon and their cottages so that you can pay a visit for a weekend escape.

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To see more images of this trip, visit my photo album on my Facebook. 

To learn more visit: http://bandycanyon.com/

Hay que ser honestos: ¡los romances a distancia no son fáciles para tu corazón ni para tu bolsillo! Mantener viva la llama del amor cuando tu media naranja vive a más de 3 mil kilómetros de ti en México puede ser un desafío emocional y financiero. A continuación, te ofrecemos unos consejos para que esos lazos románticos a larga distancia sean menos complicados, y evitar que vacíen tu cuenta bancaria.

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1. Simplemente comparte

Crea un álbum de fotos virtual en donde ambos puedan retarse a compartir fotos al instante de cómo se ven y lo que cada uno hace durante el día. Acuérdate de dejar comentarios en los posts de

redes sociales de tu pareja, retuitear sus mensajes, compartir el playlist de la semana o enviarse “el selfie del día”. Esto ayudará a que se mantengan en contacto e interesados en la vida de cada uno

sin tener que lamentarse sobre cuánto se echan de menos todo el tiempo.

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2. Haz citas virales semanales

Piensa más allá de tan solo cenar con tu pareja por video-chat, ¡pon a prueba tu creatividad! Comienza la cita virtual antes de cenar; compartan trucos de cocina mientras preparan la misma

comida, o vean la misma película mientras abrazan a su almohada favorita. ¿Quién dijo que hace falta estar en persona para darle un toque de romance a tu relación?

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3. Charla hasta el amanecer

Habla por horas y horas, sin preocuparte por quién cuelga primero. Disfruta el momento y olvídate de los cargos de larga distancia y roaming. Con el nuevo plan Extended Nation de SIMPLE

Mobile, tendrán a su disposición llamadas y mensajes de texto ilimitados, y los primeros 4GB de datos a velocidades de hasta 4G LTE**, y después a velocidades de 2G en México y los Estados Unidos por $40/30 días (oferta por tiempo limitado, válida hasta el 31 de diciembre de 2015). Vale la pena, ¿no? Y hasta sentirán que están en la misma habitación, compartiendo imágenes y videos.

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4. Planifica una aventura juntos

Haz que el próximo sitio de encuentro sea un lugar al cual no hayan ido antes. Hablen de los sitios que desean visitar, de lo que harán una vez lleguen allí, y dónde irán primero. Hagan planes, fijen

una fecha y comiencen una cuenta regresiva para que ambos esperen con ansia ese momento.

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5. Ten detalles más “tradicionales”

Ofrécele un toque “antiguo” a tu romance, ya sea con una tarjeta postal o una carta de amor donde con tu propia letra expresas cuánto quieres y extrañas a tu pareja. Envíala por correo postal, y

asegúrate de darle un toque personal rociándola con tu perfume para estimular los sentidos de la persona que amas.

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Aunque estas recomendaciones no garantizan el éxito de tu relación a larga distancia, te permitirán demostrar tu cariño, ahorrando más dinero al mismo tiempo. Para más detalles sobre el nuevo plan Extended Nation de SIMPLE Mobile, visita el sitio web www.SimpleMobile.com.

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Para más información sobre planes internacionales ilimitados, comenzando con precios de 2GB para 7 días por $20, puedes visitar SimpleMobile.com o síguenos en Facebook y Twitter.

Credito de texto y fotografia: The Axis Agency

I have lived a quarter of a century and that is not enough to experience everything that I would want to live over my life span, but one thing I know for sure is that I know when negative and toxic people are in my proximity. And I will try at all cost to avoid them because there’s a certain kind of energy they carry that will jump over to you real quick. Believe me, it’s true—I’ve lived it!

I am writing based on what I have seen, continue to live in my surroundings and what I see in other relationships. I believe my comments do have some value because they are based on experience. I am no relationships expert, or a love coach, nor do I have a psychology background, but I do believe that our very own life experiences teach us a lot of knowledge.  You live and learn.

In this case I am writing to you fellow reader to make it easier on you when figuring out if the romantic relationship you are in is safe or if you’ve got to call it quits now. Why? Simply remember that life is too short to get stuck with people who make your life miserable and toxic as hell.

When it comes to relationships I won’t say that I have always been the best person or Mr. Right. I am human I am full of imperfections, but whatever I’ve done I have always let honesty and my values lead the way. Yes, my heart has been broken and other times I have broken hearts, but never intentionally. I’ve taken everything as learning experiences that have made me who I am today.

And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with distancing yourself from those who don’t provide any happiness to your circle. Get them out and move on. There’s a saying that fits perfectly here: Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head and heart, unless they are a good tenant.

Yes we sometimes live such a fast paced lifestyle that we may forget what’s best for us and it’s not always easy to remember who you are and what you want, which in the end adds to the length of time that you allow unnecessary people to live in your head and heart.

One of the most miserable parts of being in a relationship is starting to lose yourself and forget to make your happiness a priority. Once you lose your individuality you are doomed to be unsatisfied forever.

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

At times we put up with so much sh*t because we tell ourselves that things will get better next week, next month, next year, when I propose, when we move-in together, when we get married, when we have children and the list goes on… But, guess what? It only gets worse and it’s sad to see that some people do think that way. Good luck to them.

Other times we think about the bigger picture and we can’t imagine our lives without that person that sometimes makes us happy and we don’t know how to make that big step and call it quits. If there’s only one thing you take away from this post, I want it to be the following:

You are not a looser for giving up, you are a fighter for seeing what is clear and moving on because there’s nothing wrong with admitting that a relationship has run its course. When that happens there’s no one to blame — you are simply NO longer compatible. That really needs to sink-in because we live in a society where pointing fingers is the norm and it doesn’t always need to be that way. You will be admired and celebrated more for speaking up and calling off the toxic as hell relationship than for sticking around and dwindling on what’s obviously dead. BAM!

There will be another post that I write about where I dig deeper into why people decide to stick around in a relationship, but for now I will give you some signs that will help you figure out if you’re in a toxic relationship and I hope you can get out of it real quick.

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Jealousy game

We’re all human, so jealousy will happen at some point. But, excessive and hurtful jealousy is never okay. If you don’t have trust in yourself how can you expect to believe in a relationship? The jealousy game can’t happen DAILY because the other person will end up hating the relationship or even you. Sorry, I used hate it’s such a strong work so I will add — dislike you! And as a matter of fact jealousy is healthy, but if it is well managed and kept at a minimal. Furthermore, don’t ever get jealous if your significant other has a crush on a famous celebrity because 99.9% chances are they’ll never meet.

Negative energy

Feeling awkward and tense around someone is your body reacting to the negative energy surrounding the two of you. There’s honestly nothing more uncomfortable that being alone and having absolutely nothing to talk about or not even knowing how to start a conversation. Negativity can drain you mentally, physically and emotionally. The negativity often leads to stress and then other worse things that are not worth mentioning here.

You’re not yourself

Change will happen regardless and that’s brutally true. Your lifestyle will change therefore the way you communicate with others will too, but the essence of who you are shouldn’t. You should never feel like you cannot be yourself next to someone. When you’re in a relationship you both may change, but at least you should be going in the same direction and not against each other. A relationship should only change you to make you a better version of yourself. If you feel you’re losing yourself along the way that’s a huge red flag.

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Nothing is Right 

As much as you try and everything you do upsets or annoys the other person and you feel as if you are walking on eggshells all the time. Now that is very unhealthy and unnecessary because you are always second-guessing yourself and you don’t even know how or who to be. YIKES!

Pick your battles

You really need to learn, which battles are worth fighting for and what others are best left alone just as long as they don’t escalate to something worse. I have seen this in the past where one person is very immature and will not let some things go and will constantly bring up things that harm. Please, don’t act like a 5 year old brat.

Showing appreciation and love

Ladies, often times you want to feel appreciated and loved through materialistic things and that shouldn’t be a part of the equation. Materialism is overrated. There are countless other ways that your man should show appreciation and love to you. Don’t ask for gifts or say the famous phrase; “you don’t buy me things like you used to in the beginning.” PLEASE!

Personal Time

Everyone needs their alone and personal time to re-fuel and it is no different when you are in a relationship. If your significant other tells you that they need that personal space give it to them without taking it personal or feeling offended. Don’t be clingy! You don’t need to be with each other 24/7. GET IT!

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Social Media

Unless your significant other gives you a valid reason to question their activity on social media then you shouldn’t be spying, controlling or stalking them every second that they are not with you. You know what you can offer them so there should not be a reason why they should be looking elsewhere. Don’t panic and overreact!

Along with social media your significant other has no need to send you material that they’ll be uploading to their social media for your approval before its uploaded. You are not the manager. If you are with your significant other you should know what they are capable of uploading, but shouldn’t expect to receive items for approval. NO. NO. NO.

Talking on the phone

Nowadays there’s so many ways we communicate and I strongly believe that men really don’t like to be on the phone so don’t make it mandatory for him to be checking-in every night before going to bed. A sweet and sexy text message will suffice at times. Don’t get me wrong jumping on a call every once in a while is great or even that face to face interaction, but that daily check-in is NOT a must.

Don’t tie anyone down – don’t be controlling

No one should ever feel as if they are tied down. If for some reason you cannot go somewhere with your significant other (e.g. a lot of times lack of parental consent, something else comes up or plans don’t go according to plan please don’t expect the other person to cancel if they really wanted to go somewhere.) Being independent while in the relationship should be important to not feel as if your life is controlled. It will happen, but don’t over do it. That feeling is miserable.

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Work vs. Couple Time

It’s great to respect both times and that each of them has its value and time frame. Personal time cannot be combined with work and vice versa so it would be idiotic for anyone to take things personal when you are not invited to a work event when your significant other’s colleagues are not taking their romantic partners and spouses.

Social Circle

Nowadays everyone knows so many people whether that be through mutual friends, acquaintances or simply by attending so many different events that you cannot expect that you will learn about your significant other’s entire social network. That cannot happen. Yes, you’ll learn about their family and immediate friends, but don’t expect to sit down and have your significant other write down every single person they know and how they’ve met and the last time they chatted. That’s keeping someone on check and no one likes that.

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Time in Bed

As the relationship progresses this area is only supposed to get better in quality and quantity too if you both want it. Lol But never worse. Just how you can provide intellectual conversations and insightful talk to your partner physical connection is important in a relationship as well. Once the activity in bed minimizes or becomes boring that is another sign for you.

Comparison

The moment you start comparing your significant other to other people is another big red flag that things are not going great. This means the other person is no longer happy with the person that you are, they want to change you and would want you to pick up on characteristics they see in other people. NO! When someone truly loves you for who you are this comparison game is never brought up.

Avoiding each other

This usually happens in the end of the relationship and right before one of the individuals calls it quits. Often times your significant others presence may give you an ill stomach or everything feels like such a drag when you are around them.

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

Credit: The Huffington Post and AskMen

And just in case all of the above signs are not enough grounds for you to end a relationship I hope that being cheated on is because not only has the person disrespected you, but you would be degrading yourself for accepting that behavior. Plus, once infidelity exists in a relationships you’ve lost it all. Trust cannot be re-built and more than likely it will continue happening.

Although clearly the signs I presented are based off of romantic relationships believe me that some of these can be applied to any other type of relationship you hold with others because there’s toxic people everywhere and you must also learn how to stay away from them.

I truly hope I was able to enlighten you and have you make better life choices if you are going through a very similar situation in your romantic relationship.

If any of the signs speak to you then evaluate your relationship and if you must let go. DO IT! You only live once.

There are hundreds of other signs that I know I am missing about noticing when a relationship has run its course, but I’d like to hear them from you.

What are they?

People should not cramp your style and instead the two should always feel that you’re growing into better versions of yourself. Be with someone that is uplifting you – not minimizing you.

When in a relationship always ask yourself, am I happy? Respond faithfully and you’ll have your answer!

Remember that there’s people everywhere and the best part about life is that you get to choose who gets to play in your world.

Want to drive your girlfriend crazy (in a good way) or want that girl you are trying to impress to fall for you faster well then I’ve got the perfect solution for you: wear Adrenaline cologne by the Latin-Pop star Enrique Iglesias. I’ve heard from many women in the past that there’s nothing more captivating in a man than his scent and I promise you #AdrenalinebyEnrique will put you in the safe zone.

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At least it works for me when I decide to wear it on special dates or right after a shower and before calling it a night. Yes, I love going to bed smelling clean and confident and Adrenaline makes me feel that way.

The first time I wore it to bed I could distinguish its bold, powerful, and cool personality. It certainly raised the pulse and attracted the heart more than I could imagine. Those are always some fun times! (covers face)

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The top notes in Adrenaline include mandarin, lemon and violet. The hot spicy heart consists of black pepper from Madagascar, saffron and pomarosa. The base features fried tonka bean, cedar and leather. Yes, you can really smell the leather—almost like the scent of a new car with leather seats.

#AdrenalinebyEnrique Iglesias represents his search for more – for more excitement, more pleasure, and more freedom. Enrique is driven by what makes his heart beat stronger; his fragrance captures that motivating sense of exhilaration.

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Adrenaline is for those men who are constantly seeking for the rush that will make them feel truly alive and masculine. Will you join in the adrenaline rush and purchase the cologne?

Would you agree that a woman falls faster for the men who wear a strong and captivating scent?

Hace pocos días se me vino la palabra “chivalry” a la mente que traducido al español significa el ser caballeroso. La razón del porque no la tengo exactamente pero si empecé a pensarlo hasta que me hice preguntas a mí mismo, puse más atención a las muestras de caballerosidad en mi entorno y me pregunte si acaso yo también estaba dejando que esta calidad se escapara por completo si es que alguna vez la tuve.

Vivimos en una cultura que cada día es más de “hookup” o de solamente ligar sin ningún compromiso y es allí donde se me vino a la mente lo mucho que la caballerosidad no existe porque muchos pensarían que eso es aburrido o cursi. ¿O están en desacuerdo?

Cual sea tu respuesta te aseguro que estarás de acuerdo conmigo en que nosotros mismos nos hemos encargado de que esto esté pasando. Los de la culpa somos todos los hombres como también las mujeres.

¿Quieren saber porque?

La mujer se ha encargado de siempre definir lo que está bien o mal en la relación con su pareja, y consecuentemente es el hombre quien decide cómo se va a comportar con su mujer. En muchas ocasiones si la mujer demuestra que le gustan los detalles y muestras de cariño el hombre entiende eso y lo va demostrar. Claro, si es un caballero y no un patán o malviviente. Sin embargo, si la mujer demuestra que no es fan de ese tipo de cariños entonces el hombre lo tomara en cuenta.

Algo que si quiero recalcar desde el principio es que no quiero que piensen que estoy culpando a la mujer del porque la caballerosidad casi no existe porque esa no es mi intención. Pero como les comente ambos somos los del error. Y el hombre por querer satisfacer sus deseos y no ver más allá de lo superficial falla en grande en esta materia. Si solo más hombres se demostraran con un poco más de madurez, gentiles y responsabilidad tendrían más éxito en demostrar la caballerosidad que muchos de nuestros abuelos y padres tuvieron.

Puede que mis padres fueron anticuados (old-fashioned) o el crecer dentro de una familia mexicana muy unida resulto en que yo tuviese diferentes valores a los demás pero siempre se me fue recordada la importancia de la caballerosidad y aún más por las mujeres en mi vida.

De parte de mi madre, abuela o tías fue de quien aprendí grandes lecciones y ahora no entiendo él porque es casi imposible para muchos hombres hacer algo que para mí fuese como algo normal – el ser caballeroso.

¡El salir a citas es cosa del pasado! ¿Enserio, quien sale a citas hoy en día? El mundo se ha convertido en obtener un número de teléfono, salir por una bebida y ligar por una noche con desconocidos. Ya no se le da la importancia que se merece el sacar a una chava a un restaurante para conocerse. Hay una razón para salir a cenar — tener una plática muy amena y sin ninguna perturbación para conocer a la otra persona lo más posible.

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Les aseguro que si invitas a una chava a cenar en la primera cita la posibilidad de que te diga que si para la segunda cita son mayores a los que solo la buscan por una noche loca.

A algunos hombres les da pavor el tener que pagar la cena de una chava que apenas están conociendo. Pero los reto a que se fijen más allá del dinero y no se rasquen tanto el codo a la hora de querer ser caballerosos e invítenla a cenar. Piensa positivo, tendrás una cita con una chava que te atrae, aprenderás cosas de ella y puede que ella sea el amor de tu vida. Puede que al final de la noche decidas que no es para ti pero aprendiste unas grandes lecciones de las cosas que no te gustaría encontrar en otras mujeres.

Claramente vivimos en unos tiempos muy diferentes al pasado que hoy en día si un hombre hace cosas que se le parezcan a la caballerosidad lo tildan de mandilón y así no son las cosas. Con esos comentarios a paso lento también hemos venido matando el ser caballeroso.

Entre más veo a mi alrededor más veo que muchos hombres no tratan a las mujeres como se nos fue inculcado. ¿Qué paso a pagar por las cenas, un helado o una bebida? ¿Qué paso con sacar la silla antes de sentarse a comer? ¿Qué paso con abrir puertas y esperar a que las mujeres salgan primero que uno?

¿Dónde perdimos el ser caballeroso? ¿Cuando fue que se convirtió aceptable mandarle un mensaje de texto a altas horas de la noche a una chava solo para que llegue a tu casa para tener sexo?

La comunicación a cambiado completamente de una manera significativa donde según conoces a una persona a través de 140 caracteres por twitter, con “emojis” y abreviaciones como “LOL”, “LMAO”, “NM”, “JK”, “BRB” y muchos más que no te dejan conocer los sentimientos de una persona. Mucha de la comunicación de hoy en día es corta, breve y sin detalle.

La verdad es que no nos tomamos el tiempo de conocer a las personas un poco más y es por eso que el índice de divorcios esta cada día más alto.

Tengo que reiterarlo una vez más– el problema no está en las mujeres pero tengo que decir lo siguiente: mujeres por una razón u otra se han complacido con dejar que los hombres les entreguen lo necesario para satisfacer su relación y muchas veces el ser caballeroso toma un poco más de esfuerzo y detalle. Pero porque han acostumbrado a que su hombre no trabaje tanto poco a poco el ser caballeroso ha muerto.

No existe el esfuerzo de enviar flores, comprar chocolates, ir de viajes, salir a citas románticas en días comunes y no solo en celebraciones o en el día de San Valentín. ¡Eso no cuenta! Jajaja

Ojo, que si tu hombre es detallista entonces no solo te quiere para pasar el tiempo en la recamara.

Eventualmente, siento que las mujeres empezaran a pedir cosas que se merecen como lo que debería ser esperado gracias a las enseñanzas de nuestros padres, abuelos y tíos.

Está en tus manos (hombres y mujeres) de mantener esta bonita costumbre de ser caballeroso viva. Es obvio que las mujeres son las de los pantalones y en cuanto se den su lugar en la relación empezaran a ver cambios favorables de parte de su caballero si en verdad las aman.

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